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The most broad definition of monogamy is the practice of forming only one emotional/ romantic/ sexual partner at one given time. Often referred to as two people being “exclusive”. It’s quite common for people to not know any other type of relationship style because monogamy is so ingrained and highlighted in various aspects of life. This mainstreamed approach to love is commonly found in music, books, films, social media, and so much more. Often people think monogamy is the default and believe it is what is expected but Monogamy is just one type of relationship style out there. 

Non-Monogamy is essentially the umbrella  term for any relationship style that is not exclusively Monogamous. Non-Monogamy does not strictly follow the standards of Monogamy and can involve two or more people at the same time. All romantic and sexual orientations can practice Non-Monogamy and it is unique to the people involved. Some Non-Monogamous folks use the terms Consensual Non-Monogamy (CNM) or Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) to make it aware that they are not an individual who is “cheating” on their current partner(s) or potentially new partner(s). Because Non-Monogamy is such a broad term there are other labels underneath the umbrella. It can be useful to place Non-Monogamy and Monogamy on a spectrum to help figure out where someone “fits” and what label they  most resonate with. 

Is the relationship structure where the person is engaging in multiple romantic, emotional, and typically sexual relationships, with the consent of all the people involved all at the same time. Polyamory literally translates to multiple loves. 

A type of polyamory dynamics that emphasizes independent relationships from another. There is typically little to no contact and no form of friendship/ relationship between the partners. For example, when a person X  is dating Y and Z but Y and Z don't ever interact. 

A type of polyamorous dynamic that emphasizes multi-level connection between all those involved. It is a set up in which everyone in the polycule is on pleasant enough terms to be friends, or at a minimum be civil enough to interact with one another. For example, the network can all gather around a kitchen table for a meal. 

A network where the members are closely connected either through partnership, relationship, metamours, friendships and more. This term is a way to describe their group of people who they are most connected with in their non-monogamous life. A polycule can sometimes be quite large with multiple people or sometimes with just a few.

A romantic or sexual relationship that involves more than two people but does not welcome more people into the dynamic without the strict approval and consent of the existing members. This is a specific agreement where they commit to only each other and typically do not seek new partners unless all consciously decide it. 

A term to help describe the phenomena of “having enough” relationships or dynamics. When polysaturated, they have as many relationships, dynamics, connections as they can handle. It’s known as the limit non-monogamous people can manage typically because of lack of time available or emotional availability for any new partners.

The term that refers to the partner of their partner. 

Swinging in general terms is sexual practice where someone is having multiple sexual partners outside of an established relationship. Most broadly, swinging involves couples consensually exchanging partners specifically for sexy times. It is so unique to the couple that it’s hard to describe… Some interactions are between strangers, take place at sex parties or clubs, some have groups of friends who know each other and have socialized for many years. Swinging has different levels as well. Soft swap is when typically when those engage in some form of limited sexual activities (ie. stopping short of sexual intercourse). Hard swap swinging is when those sexual activities have potential for full sexual intercourse. Progressive swinging is when people are comfortable with a level of emotional intimacy and friendship with their other sexual partners. This may look like the play partners enjoying non-sexual activities like going to the movies, having a backyard fire, hanging out, in addition to the sexual activities. Swinging is what you make it! 

A type of relationship that is not exclusively sexually monogamous. Often times those in an open relationship have the freedom to have sexual entanglements outside of their relationship but not loving, emotional intimate, or romantic dynamics 

Relationship Anarchy also known as RA is a relationship structure that allows for fluidity and has no definable rules. These relationships might look very different from pair to pair but the main core values are of non-hierarchy and no strict script. There is often no solid differential between sexual, romantic, or platonic relationships and there is not necessarily a clear line between partner and non partner. RA is extremely unique to the person. 

A type of relationship structure where two or more people establish a friendship that includes sexual activities without the emotional or romantic connection. 

Sometimes known as DADT, Don’t Ask Don’t Tell is a relationship dynamic where the couple may allow for their partner to have sexual or romantic arrangements outside of the relationship under the condition that they will not share information, details or names of the other partner and have no intention of ever meeting the other people.

Typically referred to as a woman who is almost always bisexual, who is willing to have sex with or date both members of an established couple. Sometimes the unicorn cannot have sex or date outside of that established couple. It is sometimes rare to find a woman willing to agree to the terms of the dynamic, hence why they're called the mythical unicorn. 

The Relationship Escalator refers to the collection of expected behaviors and choices and that “must be followed” in order for a relationship to be seen as legitimate by society. This escalator might look different depending on the country, culture or religion but nonetheless, the escalator is a ride of expectations we put on ourselves or pressured by other people to fulfill.

A feeling of happiness when a partner receives pleasure from another source of joy (another relationship, sexual encounter etc). Often thought of as the opposite of “jealousy;” and is a positive emotion. The term was coined by the Kerista Commune.  

A way to describe the intense feelings of excitement and happiness in the beginning of any new romantic or sexual relationship. This period typically has high levels of passionate attraction and feelings of ecstasy.  Often thought of as that “honeymoon” phase at the start but can sometimes last for quite some time.

In most basic terms, cheating refers to any action or activity that violates the agreements, boundaries or rules of that relationship. Cheating can look different to different people. 

In hierarchical relationships the people place more importance on one relationship over the others. A sort of ranking system is installed placing the highest degree of involvement or preference. Sometimes described as having a “primary” partner as this person will be prioritized over others. In non-hierarchical relationships, it is the opposite, there are no priorities for one relationship over the others. It doesn't always mean that everything is equal between partners but it simply means there is no ranking system.

An anchor partner is described as a long standing relationship, typically logistically entangled and is often regarded as a main figure in someone's life. A relationship or partner who is central and that person can lean on them like an “anchor”. Sometimes used in non-hierarchical relationships to describe someone equivalent to a primary partner without attaching that label.

The term that refers to a partner whom you live with. 

Typically referred to as an occasional partner who passes through one’s life semi-regularly. Sometimes a comet partner is considered a long distance relationship where the partners only ever meet in person rarely but are content to pick up their connection right away when the time allows and their interactions between in person meeting is casual. Oftentimes their relationship is less about frequency and more about convenient connection.

Often refers to a party that has an emphasis on sexual, physical activities and interactions among the attendees. In the community this can look like a party hosted at a private home, swingers club, dungeon etc. These parties can look very different from one another. Sometimes there is a theme, a goal, mission, etc but the purpose of these parties is to provide the space for opportunities of fun, connection, and sex. 

A term that typically means the exchange of bodily fluids during sexual activities. Sometimes people choose to be fluid bonded with only one partner or sometimes more.  For example not wearing a condom or other forms of barriers during intercourse. 

A gathering that encourages physical touch, such as cuddling, massaging, head rubs, tickles, etc and typically excludes any sexual activity. 

A lifestyle club is a club that offers a space for adult, social gathering, specifically designed for those who want to explore, potentially engage in sexual activities, dance, connect, play games and for non-monogamous people to come together. It is a space that provides opportunities not a space that pressures sexual activities. These clubs often host a variety of lifestyle events, parties, workshops, connection events, local sex-positive resources, speed dating, movie nights, book club, yoga, discussion groups and more!